India trip [day 35.]

We're so selfish. 

It deeply ashames me to be a selfish, spoiled American.

It started at the train station on my way to my second trip to Raichur, where beggars covered the floor like tile, sleeping so as to not feel the hunger that may or may not kill them, and the ones who where awake surrounding me on their knees, begging the American for something, anything, that could keep them alive one more day.

Begging the American who daily complains about the wealth I have, constantly wasting food, taking advantage of how amazing it is that I can eat this week. 

They're so happy that they can sleep somewhere warm tonight. Warm, with rats crawling over the sleeping bodies, cockroaches resting in their matted hair, dirt covering their bodies like a second skin. How dare I complain about my lack of air conditioning when I should be rejoicing that I have walls? 

At our church, there is a certain woman who weeps with joy during worship every Sunday. Her hands raised to God, it's obvious that her heart is overflowing with the love of Christ. This past Sunday we gave her a ride to her "house." I put that in quotations because it was sheet metal and tarp sloppily put together to provide shelter from the constant rain. I was shocked. We get angry at God for not giving us that job promotion, for not giving us everything we think we deserve. Yet this woman, this woman on the brink of starvation, revolves her entire life around the time she spends with Christ. She puts all her hardships aside, for she knows that something so much better is coming. Her life is James 1 exemplified. I was in awe and sick to my stomach with memories of my past unthankfulness.

Then there's the orphanage. The boy who doesn't ever speak because his father looked him in the eyes as he murdered his mother and then committed suicide right in front of him. The girl with only a few of her fingers and toes because that's how her mother would punish her. The boy with knife scars all over his body. The countless, countless beautiful little girls who will never be blessed with children because of the abuse their fathers put them through. The innumerable number of children who grew up eating animal excrement, trash, anything they could get just to stay alive. 

And here I am, making "such a sacrifice" by giving up my summer to come here. Here I am, disgusted by the thought of not being able to shower at least every other day. Here I am, practically devastated because I have to sit in the dirt sometimes.

God is showing this to me to reveal my own greedy heart. Not in a rebuking manner, but a deeply humbling one. This trip has made me view everything I own so differently. For a while, I'm going to be so happy with what I have, thankful to be able to sleep in a bed, blessed to have a school I can go to.

The sad part is, I know it won't last. Maybe a month after I come back, if it even lasts that long, I'm going to start throwing fits because a restaurant gave me the wrong order, because Chicken Express gave me two chicken strips instead of three, because my mom punished me for something I did wrong.

I don't deserve any of it. I should be the one living in the tarp and sheet metal. 

I'm so lucky.

Photo challenge [i ♥ faces entry.]

Hi therrre. This is Allison. Isn't she lovely?

This is my challenge entry for I ♥ Faces [<-- the link is there.]. It's for teens only and, hey, I'm sixteen. So I thought I'd give it a go. :]

I'll India blog later, y'all.

India trip [day 18.]

Hello, all.

:]

Honestly, nothing blog-worthy has happened since my last post on Tuesday.

Wednesday, I taught another day of school, this one MUCH more successful than the last, considering Angel accompanied me to every class. They're a little scared of her.

Thursday, I woke up early to go to the school, and instead they told me that I'm going to an art gallery. Okay..? Whatever. So I jumped in an auto-rickshaw [picture below.] and was towed around to everywhere BUT an art gallery. I had woken up feeling a little sick, and this little trek was NOT helping. Each new place we went, I immediately scoped out a place to throw up if need be. Yeah, nice. Finally, as we were sitting in waiting chairs for one of Angel's appointments, I got a tiny bit feverish and had a long conversation with Nick in our own language. Yes, Nick is still in the US. And no, we do not have our own language. At this realization I realized I needed to go home. A good decision, based on the fact that I ran upstairs and threw up right when we arrived. I love how I got sick the day after I rejoiced to everyone that I hadn't gotten sick yet. The irony is awful.

Friday, I was still pretty sick. So I didn't have to teach, thankfully. By evening, though, I felt MUCH better. No more crazy hallucination Nick.

Saturday, I woke up early to go to school, [yes, there's school on Saturdays] feeling fine. Nothing. Not even an art gallery. Just. Didn't do anything. I Facebooked all day. I don't get why.

So Saturday was a little...nerve-grinding. I got five days to teach my photography class. I went to two. Yes, I get to  extend my class. But STILL. This is not the first time things like this has happened. "Definitely" is not a word here. Plans do not exist. They say we're doing something tomorrow, eh, we'll get around to it next week. I don't understand it! It's so frustrating. It's really hard to explain...just. Pray for me. It's getting really discouraging that I leave everything for three months to come help here, and they say "Well, since you're here for three months, we can wait." [No. They have not literally said that. It's just a summation.]

It's not that I regret coming. I really don't. It's just...ugh! I wish I could explain what I'm trying to say. I could just as easily been checking Facebook in a country where they use toilet paper. 

But I'm waiting on God. He's got his reasonings. I'm trying not to give up just yet.

There's a few things that have been curing my boredom, though. :]

1] Etsy shopping! Er..browsing. I love love love Etsy jewelry.

[second image - get it? Like. Key to your heart. I found it clever...]

2] Wistful decor shopping.

[love love this. been planning on painting this one on of my walls for like. A year.]

[soo cute.]

[ohhhh, i love bookends. yes those are fish.]

[yes. i am five years old. yes. i want to be a pirate when i grow up.]

[dinosaurs have kinda been my thing since i was like. five. don't make fun.]

3] Clothes shopping!

4] This boy. :]

[mhmm. i love him. ha.]

5] Ben 10.

[it's the only english show on tv. shut up. it's good.]

7] Blog posts about random crap.

[auto rickshaw! meet india's taxicab.]

That's all.

:]

Comment! Share! Especially you, Gatlin people.

Side notes:

Almost all of these photos/cute objects can be attributed to various sellers on Etsy. I was introduced to Etsy by Michelle, I think, and it's definitely worth visiting.

Question: Is it "London Bridges falling down" or "London Bridge IS falling down"?! I've always sang it as bridges, but if it's not...I'm crestfallen, to say the least. It's like this is life's way of getting back at me for never believing in Santa Claus.

India trip [day 13.]

Can I please express to you how mind-boggling it is that I've only been here for 13 days, and I've only been gone for 15? I seriously sat and recounted the days about five times, just to make sure. It's been months to me. And I don't say that in a bad way. Though, if I said I was a busy girl, I would be lying. I've been sitting at home playing escape games and Tetris for the past week.

However, joy of all joys, I FINALLY got out of the house today. I finally began my teaching career at the school. Ohhhh what an experience. I've never seen children's faces look as confused as they did when I walked in the "IIX Standard" door. Nervously I cleared my throat and began with a wise opening statement: "Uhh. Hi there!". Open mouth stares. Literally. Then they all snapped out of it and said hello back. I commenced in telling them my name, which they can't pronounce, trying to take a picture of them, at which point they told me the lens cap was still on, and explaining that yes, my hair was supposed to be in my eyes, which they find hard to believe. I then stuttered my way through a short photography lesson, which pretty much only consisted of cramming "NEVER USE FLASH" down their throats. But the eighth graders were a pretty forgiving group.

I can't say the same for the ninth graders. You know the open mouth stares the eighth graders had? Add that, giggling at every word I said, grabbing my camera from my hands, flirty looks from the boys, not answering a single question, making up fake names for themselves, and putting the eraser on the top shelf so 5'2 me can't reach it. You've got my ninth grade class. It was a disaster. Though, I think I eventually got the no flash point across.
Luckily, those were the only two classes I had today. After school, Cyril felt sorry for me and took me to buy Pepsi and chocolate. I was a happyyyy girl.

We'll see what tomorrow holds in store for me.

On a sad note, we had a little two-month old puppy. She got out, and some strays got her [have I mentioned that there are strays EVERYWHERE?]. They broke her spinal cord and she's paralyzed from the waist down. It's seriously one of the saddest things I've ever seen. She just slumped in a corner and cried for days. Thankfully, they took her to be put to sleep today. But I was saddd.

On a happy note, we got a new puppy!Meet Mowgli, my [and yes, I say my] three-week-old pomeranian. Sooo cute.

Hmm. What else has happened. Oh! I taught youth on Sunday morning. It went so well. I taught over 1 Timothy 2. I only had one slip up - I used Nick as an example. I was rather confused as to why everyone's eyes got huge when I said that I had a boyfriend, but Cyril later explained to me that that's completely forbidden here. Soooooo my church thinks I'm a sinner. Ha.

Do you have any questions? Feel free to ask!

:]

Side notes:

I know I said I'd blog about Raichur and I PROMISE I will, but I'm waiting for some way to upload pictures.

Still house hunting.

Cyril leaves in a week. I'm so scared to be here without someone as fluent in English as him. Ha.

I have over fifty mosquito bites on my legs. It's getting ridiculous.

My momma's sending me a care package. :]:]

I know so much Kannada. And by that, I mean I know about ten words. But I can hold a conversation about food! Lol.

I promise to try to blog more. Honest.

India trip [day 7.]

So, I realized that my title days aren't days I've been gone, but days I've been in India, just to clarify. I've been gone nine days.

So! I have officially survived my first week! It literally feels like it's already been a month. Seriously. It's insane.

I have no way to upload pictures to my Mac yet, considering I forgot to bring my card reader, but Cyril keeps promising we will go get a cord, so I will have a picture post soon.

This week has been a busy one so far.

On Sunday morning I went to my first church service. It was amazing. It's so different than the services here. Never have I seen such unbridled joy to be in the house of God. From the moment I walked in [shoeless, of course. this is holy ground.] all I saw were smiles. Everyone ran to me and touched my face and said how beautiful I was and everyone wanted me to sit with them. Lol. They were so excited for me to be there. When church started, we sang first. It literally made my jaw drop. Every single person in the building [about 115] sang at the top of their lungs and clapped and some people brought tambourines and drums and everyone just worshipped God wholeheartedly. It wasn't a burden to get up early and go to church, it was a blessing. It wasn't tiring to stand and sing, but it was what they look forward to all week. The songs lasted about eight minutes each, and we sang about five. And never did the joy stop. Never did I see anyone stop singing or clapping. They were so ecstatic to praise God. It was so amazing.

When singing was over, they called me up to the stage and introduced me and had me address the church shortly, then gave me a HUGE bouquet of flowers. I was so nervous. Lol.

Some teenage girls sitting in the audience [audience? I don't think that's the right word. Among the congregation.] started talking in Kannada to Sister Jossna, and she translated and said that they all think I'm nineteen or twenty. So I told them I was sixteen. 3/4 of the entire church gasped and put their hands over their mouths. I am not joking. Lol.

Cyril then preached a message about the blind man at the gate that was healed, which he translated for me at first, then he got into it and forgot. Lol. But it seemed like a good message.

Did I mention that anytime someone prays it literally goes about ten minutes? It was so different. I wish I understood the language.

After it was all over, people stay and talk for over an hour. All the children ran up to me and asked me questions in broken English, the most prominent being what my family's names were. When I told them John, Dona, Kate, and Scott, they all laughed. They thought they were the funniest names. Lol. This one little girl never spoke to me, just stood beside me and stroked my arm. She was so cute. The kids were an ego boost too, they all told me I'm so pretty. Lol. They were so entranced by the fact that my eyes were blue. Ha. They all invited me to their houses.

Sunday night, I began my journey to the town of Raichur, about 300 miles and 10 or so hours by train away. But I'll blog about that in a seperate post.

Side notes: I love not wearing makeup.

I've been wearing my hair in pigtails. Yes, it's finally long enough to do that.

Indians think my headbands are funny.

I'm pretty sure my esophagus has been spiced away.

There's a McDonalds, Taco Bell, Dominoes, and KFC here. We're going. I'm scared.

We are having to move. Our landlord came and said we had 15 days to get out. Sooo, that'll be fun. Pray for that.

A school bus for the orphanage got in an accident and some kids died. :[ I'm not sure of any details yet. But pray for that too.

Keep the emails and the prayers coming, guys.

phojotography@yahoo.com